If you find something Ryan, please let me know! I searched for the reference for the elusive "perfect mix" for years. :)
However I WILL recommend the Gearslutz Post-Pro forum - there are some very experienced mixers on there who, if approached politely, are quite willing to give advice.
I found in the end, just doing it was the best way. Along with being able to sit in with some far more experienced mixers. If you can wrangle the chance to do so, DO IT - just watching a seasoned mixer work will improve your own work immensely!
As well, I still listen, very closely in fact, to other films and TV shows, to hear what I like and what I don't like about other mixes. I try and learn something new on every mix I do, and usually do.
Finally, one of the MOST important lessons I learned, was to SERVE THE PROJECT ABOVE ALL. Put aside your personal tastes, opinions and theories and mix the project the way it wants/needs to mixed, NOT the way you think it should be mixed. I spent a great deal of wasted time and effort early on in my career trying to make things sound the way I THOUGHT they should be, instead of simply making them sound GOOD (or at least as good as they could be). Good varies from project to project - what sounds good for one, will sound like crap on another (listen to "Traffic" next to "The Matrix" next to "No Country for Old Men").
Once you make that "Zen" step of taking yourself out of the equation, oddly enough finding your own voice becomes easy.